fireun | (no subject)

It hits hard for me- my sister, my ex boyfriend, and now another friend- suicides all within a year. There are so many conversations I wish I had had, smiles I miss. Hugs. Laughs. Irreverent conversation, deep thoughts. There is always that feeling of more I could have done. Should have done.

A good friend- one of those who always greeted me with a crooked smile, who always had something to say over the internet if we could not get together in person- killed herself Friday. She had tried before, but she had seemed to be doing so well when I saw her last.

Should have should have should have should have known, those insidious little voices will always whisper. But in the end there is only so much anyone can do, and I need to settle my head around that to silence those nasty little voices.

But three is such a hard number, and I think I have gotten a little numb to news of suicide, and that bothers me a bit.

I am always here if you need someone to talk to, my friends. My internet presence may seem a tad spotty, but I am around. I may not be active in fandom, but we are still friends and I am around. Drop me an email, a message, ask for my phone number and I will share it. I don't have all the answers, but I am always willing to talk. We are a magnificent web of connection and contact- never hesitate to call on me when you need me. Don't ever feel like you need to just fall through the cracks.