(no subject)

[fireun]

It hits hard for me- my sister, my ex boyfriend, and now another friend- suicides all within a year. There are so many conversations I wish I had had, smiles I miss. Hugs. Laughs. Irreverent conversation, deep thoughts. There is always that feeling of more I could have done. Should have done.

A good friend- one of those who always greeted me with a crooked smile, who always had something to say over the internet if we could not get together in person- killed herself Friday. She had tried before, but she had seemed to be doing so well when I saw her last. 

Should have should have should have should have known, those insidious little voices will always whisper. But in the end there is only so much anyone can do, and I need to settle my head around that to silence those nasty little voices.
 
But three is such a hard number, and I think I have gotten a little numb to news of suicide, and that bothers me a bit.

I am always here if you need someone to talk to, my friends. My internet presence may seem a tad spotty, but I am around. I may not be active in fandom, but we are still friends and I am around. Drop me an email, a message, ask for my phone number and I will share it. I don't have all the answers, but I am always willing to talk. We are a magnificent web of connection and contact- never hesitate to call on me when you need me. Don't ever feel like you need to just fall through the cracks. 

Comments

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry! Sending you a long hug.

You need to be numb, for a while.

[pbray.livejournal.com]

So sorry to hear this. {{{HUGS}}}

[amethyst-clan.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry for your loss, hon. -hugs-

[havocmangawip.livejournal.com]

Ugh. So so so many hugs for you.

And the road goes in both directions. Feel free to call or text me any time. I'm nearly almost ALWAYS down for a road trip. My Mom "likes you" and knows I am safe with you and having fun. (Excellent, right?)

[supposed-devil.livejournal.com]

Hey, it's Will from Kentucky. I'm very, very sorry to hear this. It's never an easy thing to wrap your head around. My nephew was young when the same thing happened. It's still with me, but in a happier light now. Takes time to get over the confusion and hurt. I would love to chat with you sometime, about anything. Hope you are well as you can be. *hugs* Comment on my LJ, so we can reconnect.

[orion117.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. I know you know that there is only so much help we can give to people, but it’s very hard to escape the "what ifs" no matter how much you tell your brain to stop. That’s a sad loss on its own, let alone when it brings up so many other sad memories. Hang in there and be good to yourself.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Oh, no. That's so sad. And I am so very sorry. I wish I were a lot nearer, to bring you cake and hugs and books.
Much, much love. xx

[fieryredqueen.livejournal.com]

It's very disheartening that there are so many people so miserable, and I am truly sorry that you've lost so many you care about. Even if you were to think of something you wish you had done, odds are they wouldn't have let you anyway. It's not your fault, not a bit of it.